Just Say Yes to Guerrilla Love

No, this is not a post on beastiality, you dirty bird. This is about a little experience known as Guerrilla Cuisine. You may have heard about Guerrilla Cuisine through the City Paper or someone in the know, but we’re going to tell you all the juicy, succulent little details about this “underground” traveling foodie event, so grab a napkin.

Guerrilla Cuisine is (insert explicative)ing awesome. We attended last night, among 50 others who made up an interesting mix – hippies, artists, musicians, heroin-chic, and the F&B crowd. It’s a bit odd to first walk in… you’re in this very intimate setting (it was in an artist’s home last night) with eclectic (read: weird) strangers and you don’t quite know what to do. But, go in with an open mind and at least four bottles of wine, and you’ll loosen up right away. The host is a man named Jimihatt who we love because he looks exactly like the truck driver with the hook for a hand in “Adventures in Babysitting.” He’s also a fantastic host with loads of energy and individualism. The McCrays chefs were cooking and their staff was serving us… they are all very cute and absolute pros. The theme was soul food and it was one of the best meals of our lives. We started elbow deep in addicting boiled peanuts, then went outside for a mini oyster roast. Then the real fun began. We started with the creamiest, most panty shrimp and grits ever. Then moved onto a sweet and spicy corn bread with pickled veggies and green tomato chow-chow… seemed very odd to us but we quickly became believers! Then came a mini break and a hugely entertaining part of the evening. The sentimental singer guy. We’re all for live entertainment, but it’s a bit too intimate sitting just feet away from a guy strumming a guitar and singing at the top of his lungs. Don’t get us wrong – he had a beautiful voice – but it was difficult not to giggle over the awkwardness of the literal face-to-face musical performance. Like I said, a hugely entertaining part of the evening. Then came the magic… the entrée. Slow cooked pulled pork with mac & cheese, broccoli with cheese foam, collard greens and black-eyed peas. It was one of the best things we’ve ever tasted. Lastly, for dessert, it was candied Yams with marshmallows and fresh apple ice cream. Pure heaven.

We love the concept of the whole thing. It’s an intimate dinner party but with top chefs and complete strangers. You have no idea the location, menu, chef or anything when you purchase a ticket. You’re scared that Jimihatt is going to be a crazy and you’re going to get chopped up in an abandoned warehouse that you drove to on your own accord. Instead, you get a very cool, different, yummy, not-your-same-ole Charleston night. The best thing Guerrilla Cuisine can do for itself is to stay underground and just let the word of mouth spread. Seeing it in Weekend! 10 Ways to Play ruins it and makes it lose its cool factor. But we’re here to tell you that it is cool. You should go before it’s overexposed, meaning immediately if not sooner. Next one is in January… www.guerrillacuisine.com

On the Third Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me… A Model Dressed in Ralph Lauren

Well, it’s finally happened. I’m officially a modelizer. Although a “modelizer” is defined by the urban dictionary to mean “A guy who only dates models (ie. ‘He dumped his girlfriend when she lost her modeling contract- what a modelizer’),” I am expanding it to also mean a WOMAN who only dates models. Unfortunately, I can’t give any more specifics than that, but know that it’s fabulous and I highly recommend it.

On the second day of Christmas my True Love Gave To Me…Two Gay Men Dancing

Why don’t straight men dance? They’re so worried about their manliness and fear of looking stupid that they think it’s better to look debonair and “too cool” sitting on the sidelines. I’ll tell you what it looks like: no fun. Gay men are already secure, so they are the most fun dance partners a girl can ask for. Plus, they can inappropriately touch you on the dance floor and it’s not offensive. Twas the case at the fabulously lavish party thrown by a fabulously lavish gay couple a few evenings ago. Oodles of themed bars (Hot toddies? To the right. Christmas martinis? Scoot to the left, darling.), professional dancers, glittery décor, spotlights on the dance floor and the most fabulous DJ we’ve ever experienced! Fabulous. Fabulous. There, I’ve hit my “fabulous” quota for the gay party recap. Fabulous. One more for good measure. It’s Christmas, after all, and if you can’t say “fabulous” at Christmas, when can you, eh?

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me... a Walk-Off in a Hot Sea

How much do we love December? Let us count the ways. Full of parties, hot creamy cocktails and sparkly dresses, it's one of our favorite times of year. Expect to see a lot from us this month as we report on all of our fabulous doings.

The first one of note was the Biton fashion show at the Hibernian Thursday night. The line was as ridiculously long as Biton is pretentious, but luckily, the GoDiva Sisters don't wait in line so we waltzed right in. The crowd was decked out in the kind of forward fashions you'd expect to see at a premier party in L.A., and you couldn't tell the models from the regular people in this sea of hottness. Some of the regular people, in fact, were wearing local designer originals on loan! As in, the designers DRESSED them, like they were freaking Reese Witherspoon going to the Oscars. (NOTE: THE GODIVA SISTERS ARE AVAILABLE TO BE FASHION MUSES AT ANY OLE TIME!). The champagne flowed at our table and when the spotlights tuned on and the show started, it was Dance Party 2007 with the great tunes leading the models down the runway. The highlight was the tall, black male model with a preppy dreads faux-hawk. YUM. Everyone was over-served which no doubt led to the party-wide walk-off at the end of the show. You read me right... fifty or so people hopped up on stage after the show ended and started a full force walk-off competition circa "Zoolander." Everyone - no matter what size, shape, age - should walk down a runway before they die. It's perhaps the most liberating thing one can do. Well, top five, let's say.

So, although we don't heart Biton as much as some of the other local boutiques, they sure know how to throw a party. All they need to do is sell one third-floor outfit there and that would pay for the party, so they should have one every week. Let's just hope there's neck biting, coked out people who think they're at a rave, and near infidelity at the next one as well. Biton fashion show = 3 panties (on a 4 panty scale).