Eyes Wide Open

Naked bodies gliding in anticipation. Nervous, but ready, eyes glimmering beneath masquerade masks wondering what will happen next. Wondering if anyone recognizes them. A sophisticated and raw vibe. The smell of glistening skin unleashes a carnal urge. Maybe someone starts kissing your neck, or runs a hand across the back of your knee. Maybe another one joins in. Maybe not. Either way, you leave, either satisfied or pulsating, but on a high, feeling scandalous and naughty and free. This is how a naked party should be. I knew sweet little Charleston wasn’t ready for it.

The so-called “naked” party that sent James Island in an uproar and warranted attention from the local press was a far cry from the “Eyes Wide Shut” scenario I imagined. It was a Halloween party, nothing more. No nakedness. Not even so much as a couch where an impromptu orgy could break out. Mind you, the Go’Diva sisters are no voyeurs, but we love something juicy every once in a while. Overall, though, the most shocking part of the night was when I discovered that my Go’Diva sister had never seen “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” In other words, not a wild ride.

I love sweet, proper, legs-crossed-at-the-ankle Charleston. But sometimes it’s necessary to shake things up and let a little scandal seep in. I know those naked parties are out there. Those orgy parties. In Charleston. Teach us, oh naked ones, how to unleash and discover another kind of pearl necklace.

Citadel Boys

Citadel boys get a bad wrap. I’m not quite sure why, but one of the first things I was ever taught in Charleston was not to date one. I never really knew where this came from… maybe it’s the fear that they get beaten and have aggression issues. Or maybe it’s that they’re kept away from women so long that it’s uncertain what they’ll do when they’re unleashed. But I must say, I just had a lovely experience with a group of Citadel boys who were nothing short of heroic. It was a typical evening and I was driving down King Street bopping along to some J.T. When all of the sudden – BAM – a spider walks across my window visor! I immediately slam on my breaks and veer to the side of the road. I jump out of the car and see a group of Citadel boys. I scream “Citadel boys! Help!” and sure enough, they come running. When I explained the presence of the unwelcome intruder, I half expected the eye-roll that most boys give you, but they all dove into the car headfirst with such fervor. They searched like they were doing it for our country, until one yelled, “I got it ma’am!” They disposed of the eight-legged freak and held the car door open for me, closed it behind me, tipped their caps and wished me a “goodnight, ma’am.” So, people can say all they want about Citadel boys, but they will always be perfect gentlemen and heroes to me!